Do the Naked Men in CMNM equate it with humiliation?

[This article is my response to the above forum discussion question was taken from Tribe.net / CMNM Tribe]

For my part, I see CMNM scenes/interactions as something far broader than just humiliation vs power/control. As I think back over my 'development' as boy/teen/young adult/ mature male, I have a strong reason to believe that nudity (showing skin) is a fundamental and important form of male-male communication. 

While power/pecking order/rank/machismo are important aspects of the CMNM lifestyle (sexual preference/fetish - I hate to limit it to being JUST a sexual fetish) I think it is just how and where such kinds of experiences actually occur (for what purpose do the men are doing the CMNM 'acts/behaviors' ) that determines more whether the 'sexual eroticism' of the CMNM involves a power exchange or not. Oddly enough, we've been having a similar (but limited because of text lenght) discussion on the CMNM Xtube group (that I started recently).

I think there are three broad categories for how and where CMNM occurs. And you can probably take that to mean its 'purpose' - it's not always has to do with just sex (getting off). When we start to view men's sexual and erotic behaviors as more than just SEX, then it both complicates and liberates the discussion/analysis.

1) planned or commercial situations where both parties involved, the clothed man (males) and naked ones are participating willingly and in predetermined locations (such as a bar, Pride event, male strip club, male lap-dancing, or private group sex parties. Some examples are nude nights at some gay bars, or stripping contests, or amateur strip nights, or hiring a nude escort or sex 'massage' escort (not to be confused with a real licensed masseur or massage therapist). Some are these 'planned' CMNM events are a part of a larger men's gathering or nude or sexual retreat - CMEN, Burning Man, or Street Festival (Southern Decadance in New Orleans or Dore Alley Fair in San Francisco).

2) pre-meditated, semi-random or semi-accidental, spontaneous or simply one-way CMNM (this is a very gray area - so it's not clearly definable)..

I don' t think that BOTH the nude and clothed male have to both be willing participants for it to count as a CMNM situation. For one of them, it may seem completely 'natural' or accidental. In these types of CMMN situations, only ONE of the two manipulates (or at least it appears that one side is cognizant and the other side is ignorant (or innocent) of 'planning' or 'willingly' participant in sexually stimulating their counterpart.

So the exact environment or conditions are very important but also very unique and specific to the situation (like good timing in while visiting your Uncle's home, etc) so that one male can either be nude or be the clothed one who enjoys seeing the nude male in a place where nudity may or may not be expected. Perhaps 'flashing' (showing your body/gentitals/nudity) to another male (clothed or not) may be a subset of this category ... or not.. I'm not quite sure.

As has been pointed out, one essential factor is whether power/control is involved and whether the sexual arousal is experienced by both (Clothed or Nude) participants. I think that the degree to which the CMNM event or act may or may not be related to whether or not it is a voluntary act or coerced or forced on the other party (by force, persuasion or manipulation that physical or psychological or social pressure or even some combinations of all three. is also important. Another important point is whether the power/submission is part of the social construct (police office / arrestee or suspect, teacher or coach / student or athlete or officer -military 'grunt' (lower rank), priest - altar boy, etc) or simply an interpersonal construct... kind of like role-playing like the father -son (daddy - boy) relationships that some gay men prefer.

3) accidental or unintended CMNM experiences (like when someone opens a toilet stall door and exposes a naked (or masturbating/erect guy), or getting locked out (pushed out) of a hotel room by college buddies, etc... ).

There are all kinds of variables that come into play and the huge extremes in the level of conscious and unconscious sexual turns-on with all of these variations. the subtleties or the directness (blatantness) are different for every purpose and every person.

Certainly, one aspect of CMNM involves flashing. Flashing is a form of exhibitionism - from mild to wild to extreme - exposing one's body, specifically the genitals and/or buttocks (or breasts in women) to another person or group of people (who may or may not be clothed). Mild forms of it are 'accidental exposure' or peekaboo flashing -which are so very common among some social groups and situations -- so much so that it is absolutely NOT even regarded as any form of 'sexual' behavior at all - especially in some circles or subcultures.

Peekaboo flashing often takes the form of nudity at college boy dorm and social events or frat parties, nudity at sporting events, rock concerts and public events where young and often drunk people gather to 'have fun'. But it also exists on a more personalized basis .. such as between college dorm roommates or when regular handymen or deliverymen come to a person's house (sometimes repeatedly) and some accidental exposure to (male) nudity occurs. There are legions of stories -- many probably urban legend -- about the voyeuristic adventures of pizza delivery boys, UPS truck drivers, and newspaper delivery boys - some of which they have documented (in blogs, Youtube,
porno, etc) but more they themselves often are actually the targeted brunt of someone else's desire for getting-naked-for-the-pizza-guy prank. I have a strong feeling that many times such 'jokes' actually have latent homoerotic desires or subcurrents underlying the 'urge' to strip or to have someone stripped. You have alluded to that type in your posts above. Why then would getting the guys naked or panstied or teabagged be the NUMBER ONE hazing or college party pranks for seemingly millions of boyish breeder-types (twinks and young college or NON-college men up to age 30 or so). Spend some time searching YouTube or similar sites (or more blatantly risque or explicit video-sharing sites) to get a better idea of what I am talking about.

So this is an important form of CMNM experience that I don't really address in the above and that's because it's not easily categorized: flashing. Perhaps it's only related or could be considered a fourth sub-category or type of CMNM.

Showing one's naked body and/or genitals (without or without an erect state) seems to transcend almost all the above categories. It may be accidental or at least spontaneous, it is definitely a conscious act (though I guess a nude 'sleepwalker' doesn't plan his actions), and it may or may not occur in socially accepted circumstances... can you call show your cock (semi-erect) to another guy on a nude beach 'flashing'? Maybe it has more to do with the reality of erotic or sensual communication (body language, etc) than mere act of being naked in front of a clothed male.

 [ The author of this article sunning his buns at a public seaside park. ]

Caught Jerking in a Public Park by a Young Japanese Guy

 
An original story first published on my JUB blog

by sunbuns99 / sunbuns  / sunbunz

Some of the photos are of me and a few were even taken on this day by cellphone camera. But the others are just photos found on the Net. I obviously didn't get a photo the stranger who caught me naked and jerking -- although now I wish I had asked him to take a picture.

  I do a lot of traveling to Asia -- recently to Hong Kong and into southern China and have lived in Tokyo for long periods at a time. I want to tell about flashing a clothed Japanese guy in Tokyo a couple of summer .. actually, it was one of the first times to really flash a guy and get more than just a reaction. He seemed to really like seeing me nude and enjoyed watching me jerk off. It happened in a public park on Tokyo Bay and the young man was a complete stranger who was attracted by his noticing I was naked in a public park where other people where around. It caused hime to come closer and catch me masturbating and even to encourage me to ejaculate. It was one of the hottest experiences I've ever had with a stranger.
[ The photo on the left just above is one of the author's of this blog.]

                                         

It was in early June and I had some time off so I went down to Odaiba -- which is a large man-made island in Tokyo Bay just across the Rainbow Bridge (I think that is name). There is a beach (not much good for swimming because the water is so dirty, but there are some windsurfers in the water). Out passed this sandy beach which is about 1000 m/yds longs, there is a walkway out to some old man-made islands (one is exactly square). 

These were built to appear to be fortifications and there were large fake cannons (highly phallic - if you ask me) that were supposed to scare off Admiral Perry and the American Navy way back in the mid 1800s. Anyway, this area is a public park now. So I headed out there one sunny Friday in June to check it out. I found one corner of the 'square' island where there were fewer people. It faced the long suspension bridge that spanned from Odaiba island over to main Tokyo. 

The island has a embankment around the perimeter but the entire center is at a much lower level so you have to climb up stairs to reach the banks -- this means that many people don't actually see over perimeter as they walk around the island. There were some other people (partly clothed) sunning themselves further on down this side of the island so I decided to strip down to undies and catch some rays.

 One guy was wearing only a fundoshi - the wrap around loin cloth that used to be traditional Japanese underwear and now is typically only worn during festivals. Seeing him almost nude inspired me.
It wasn't long before I went further and took off all clothes. It was a grassy slope leading down the bank and I was sitting under a tree so it was not so clearly obvious to pedestrians who went up the stone stairs 30 ft behind me that I was nude. But if someone came off the walkway along the embankment and walked down the grassy slope, they get a good idea. So it was not a blatant act of flashing .. I was sunbathing nude, but that would only be clear to someone who was curious enough to approach me. There were boats that passed in the harbor which might have been able to see more if the driver or passengers were interested -- also pedestrians who walked along the bridge walkway could catch a glimpse of a nude form in the grass but they could not clearly identify me unless that had binoculars (or a zoom lens) since the bridge was far off. I stayed for nearly two hours -- not much happened.

Another foreign guy (not Japanese -- I think he was European) came up and seemed interested. He sat down about 50 ft away and sometimes gave me a look. Later he got up and came over to ask a question about directions, I was pretty sure that he was not going to scream in panic and just wanted to get a closer look so I really didn't cover up. But he was pretty much on the level and didn't comment on my nudity or really show that much interest either. So he moved on after we chatted just a minute.

Well, I found that very stimulating to be sitting there nude in a public park in Tokyo -- admittedly it was rather isolated, but it was one of my first flashing experiences. I never consider being naked on nude beaches as flashing - -although I suppose if you are showing a hard cock in the dunes like you are baiting a cocksucker with a hook, line, and sinker -- that might count. I've done that.. but this was the first time to be completely naked in front of strangers (few and far between ) in a public park where most people would NOT expect nudity.

It was not too long afterward that I noticed a younger Japanese guy (maybe 20) walking along the embankment on my right. There was a concrete gulley (used to drain the central plain of the island) that was too wide to cross between us. He noticed me and then he sat down on a bench about 75 ft away but kept looking over at me, obviously intrigued. I lay back at one point so that he could get a real glimpse of cock and pubic hair so he could confirm I was really nude. That would either get his juices going or he'd just leave if he were not interested in seeing dick. Sure enough, he got up but with an obvious glint of real interest in his eyes. So he made his way back up the ridge, and then proceeded down in the center of the island and disappeared. In a short time, he reappeared at the top again and looked around, seeming to decide if it was all right to approach me. 

After all, I was this naked foreign (white) guy sititing in the grass on a warm summer's day not far from downtown Tokyo. I don't think it was something he had ever seen -- neither was it something I had ever done -- so blatantly. He kept his eyes on me -- wanting to get a look at my cock which had now stood up hard and erect - since his interest was so obvious. I was starting to drip pre-cum as he made his way down the slope and around the tree and then stopped in front of me - standing between me and the bridge in the distance.

He sat down on one of the poles that supported the single length of chain that roped off the edge of the bank, staring at my erection. He was definitely cute and I could see the lust in his eyes -- I was really excited and as he sat there I could not help but reach for my hard cock and stroke it. He moved up closer and stood over me as I stroked more. He braced my legs with his and pushed them wider so that he could get a better look at my ass crack too. He urged to me on -- asking in Japanese, ' Ii kimochi?' (Does that feel good?) I grunted in response and he asked me to go on beating, 'motto yatte'. (Do it more). I wanted him to reach down and touch me but he kept glancing to his left and right down either side of the embankment. Still he was encouraging me to keep stroking, 'ii nah".. "kimochi?". "Yatte." I could not keep quiet because it was SO hot to be watched by a complete stranger in a public park who was clearly enjoying the show. I was moaning too and responding to his taunts I pushed against his legs and raised up to reach for his cock through his loose athletic pants, but he pulled upright. Maybe he was straight or maybe he was too cautious to do anything himself, but he was certainly very interested in watching me jerk my cock which was copiously leaking clear pre-cum across my belly. It didn't take long at this point before I was ready to let my cum fly.

The guy watched more intently and bent over to get a closer look when my spunk started to splatter my stomach and chest. When I was done, he gave me a smile, checked around to see if we had been observed by anybody else. He adjusted his own erection in his pants to make it less obvious and then walked away. It took me a few minutes to get cleaned up but I decided not to press my luck so I got dressed and left shortly after that. It was my first public masturbation for a stranger -- it started me on my 'career' as a cock flasher, I guess. But so far, I've not had quite a similar experience. I have only one regret -- not asking him to take a picture of me jacking in front of him with my cell phone. I have some cell phone cam photos taken then but they don't show him. 
 

How to set up a 'real' live gay sex venue: Exploring ideas

Is there any way to go about setting up a CMNM (or, for that matter, just plain NM) scenario with guys you know--without freaking them out? I know a guy or two I might like to have such a scenario with (maybe with some touching or contact but not necessarily any sex), but I don't know how to actually go about approaching the issue in such a way that I don't inadvertently transgress any of their personal boundaries and/or make them uncomfortable.
Like, my roommate, for example. I'd like to be naked around him or with him, but I can't very well say "Hey, dude, can we hang out naked sometime?" That might really weird him out. But, if there were the potential for him to be open to it, it would be something I'd want to do. But, I don't know how to approach the issue at all. I don't how to approach it in a way that I could find out if he'd be open to it without simultaneously risking offending him or making him uncomfortable. Any thoughts?
Here are some ways I can suggest:
Come up with natural, unforced occasions when you can get naked in his presence or at least allow him to see you nude. Changing for bed or getting into the shower.
You may have to 'set up' some of these -- if it's something that's not been any part of your style of living. - Such a 'set-up' might be forgetting something like a towel or wash cloth when you're in the shower, or running out of soap or shampoo and having to come out to get some (or one that you just bought but 'forget' to bring with you. - Use your cellphone to ring (set up the alarm to ring) while you're in the tube and you rush out of the bathroom naked "not knowing he was there" story to grab your phone.
Let him catch you naked a few times innocently. If you are now walking through the house/apartment nude, then it might seem strange to just start doing so. So you first have to get him used to seeing you in various states of undress. Start my coming out with no shirt or lounging around only in your boxes or athletic shorts.
Later try to set up more 'naked' situations where he catches you naturally.

This might be his knocking on your bedroom door (to get something you borrowed or that you share - cordless phone, vacuum cleaner, etc). (if you have separate bedrooms) and you're nude doing something like trying to untie some knotted shoelaces (and you may have the stereo/TV on) or headphones on (so you can't him knock).
Other ideas:
1) Start freeballing - that way you'll already be half naked. Your roommate will get used to seeing your cock, balls and butt if you undress where he can see.
2) If he's too uptight, he'll keep looking away or even ask you to dress in your own room. They will give you clues about how to proceed.
3) If this avoidance behavior persists, especially if he mentions it or draws some attention to it (like leaving the room), you could confront him about his being too uptight or too restrictive on your own personal freedom.
4) If he jokes about it, then you could also joke back with him.. 'Try it out, you might like it'. Just be upfront (and clever).. " seeing me naked doesn't bother you, does it?" How would he answer that but say 'No, not at all."

5) Start a new activity that involves him and you -- and the possibility of nudity - swimming for fitness, gym, fitness club, yoga, weekend sports, jogging, weekend trips or day time outing to the lake, beach, etc.
6) Always sleep in the nude so it won't be strange for you to be naked in and around your bedroom, also when you and he get to do some overnight trips or camping, etc.
7) Get a friend who is a nudist and whom you visit with your roommate. The friend can invite you and your friend to get naked (whether he's gay or straight or with a woman) the 'pressure' of your friend's request might help him to break down the barriers so he'll actually get nude too. At least, you can accept your nudist friend's invitation - so you'll be naked in front of your roomie.

You could do something so innocent as:
A) meet in the in-house bar/restaurant for drinks or snack,
B) come visit him in his dorm room  or apartment,  and then get around to getting somebody naked - either one of our 'cmnm' group or maybe some of the other guys staying in the room (is that unethical?) -- maybe? But it could be a whole lot of fun.
3) Hold a party in the room and play strip poker (or an easier kind of game where the loser has to remove a piece clothing until some (or all are naked).
4) More clever would be for several of your group staying in the same or nearby rooms and then pretending not to know each other.. .. so we can get some going like one guy jerking off in his bunk, and then another guy (our member joining in). It would get some of the other guys (not our group) horny and they would join in the fun... Maybe a little farfetched... but you never know until you try. Outside the hostel... it's very large and could be very crowded

5) Try doing some naked dares and having buddies to watch out / bring your clothes to a rendezvous point, or take photos, etc. ...
6) You might try going to a bar/club where nudity is either allowed or required
7) Perhaps some one would be willing to host a small group in his apartment, office lounge after hours..etc, for some naked fun.
8) Another idea is to have pre-selected roles for a type of simulation - visit to a doctor's for an exam. One guys in the patient, another two play the role of physician and or specialist, there could be a male nurse who gives sponge baths.  It's up to your imagination.
 
Am I losing you here? There are other roles that come to mind.. but it takes a bit of energy, a passion for realism but with a big dose of fantasy, and a suitable place where that could happen.
I hope you're able to get off with a guy if one of these tactics works.

Tommy's Only Crime Was That He Was Cute

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